This, my friends, is the Conference Bike. Some say it's silly. I say it's as important to manual vehicle transportation as corn cob holders are to the full enjoyment of corn. This bike has 7 seats. Each facing inward toward each other. Each rider is pedaling in tandem with everyone else.
"It's not just a bike: It's a PARTY ON WHEELS!" Not my words, these are the words from the website. But I believe it's true.
How nice would this be? Seriously. You know how ministers go and do "visitation"? A lot of churches don't do that anymore...but this would be perfect for visiting sick people in the hospital, home bound people, etc.
Great thing is, there's enough seats for every ministry. Of course the pastor would be behind the wheel. To his right would be the Administrator. To his left would be the music minister. This makes sense really. The administrator and the music guy have the pastor's attention more than anyone else does. They were both able to call "shotgun" before the rest of the staff could get the conference bike.
While riding shotgun during the "conferide" is enviable, the guys to the left and the right of the pastor would prefer to be behind the wheel.
The administrator tries steer.
"No, we can't replace the orange shag carpet in the sanctuary - no money for that." This is reminiscent of the old person who can miraculously drive 45 mph and ride the brakes at the same time. What he's really saying is,"I don't want to spend budget money on new carpet just right now. Let's pull back the reigns on our spending for this budget year."
Or, "You guys have been working so hard, everyone can take off half a day on Friday. And go buy yourself a new iPhone 3g for $199 at your local Apple or AT&T store on the church credit card." Kinda like the country driver on a farm road. If you want to pass him on a 2 lane highway, he'll kindly pull off on the shoulder so that you can get on your way. He's a peaceful, good natured fellow who wants to get along with everyone.
What, your church administrator is not like the peaceful farmer? Ours is...I just assumed everyone's was.
The music minister is sitting quietly on the left.
He's so peaceful, prayerful, earnest. He just wants to praise the Lord. And he "could do that better if I had complete control of Sundays". He really wants to get behind the wheel and see what this baby can do. Occasionally, he actually gets to drive the bike. Mostly during Christmas, or Easter. It's where most of the music guy's budget goes. These events get the most attention. The most promotion. And this is where his ministry shines. It shines like it's never shone before. And in the precious moments during the final key change, with sweat dripping from the brow of a satisfied man of God, he has to put the bike back in the pastor's garage. Those moments on the bike were the highlight of the year. Until Easter rolls around and he gets to back the bike out of the pastor's driveway and take it for a spin one more time.
"But that's only three seats" you say? Yep. The other 4 seats have the College, Student, Children's and Sr. Adult ministers. They'll never, ever steer the bike - ever. They get to ride on the bike. They even get to pedal. But everyone knows they're only there because 3 guys can't pedal a 7 person bike.